Be More You: How Life Alignment Can Help You Get Organized
Who would you like to be?
It’s a question I think we overlook when we’re trying to get organized. We complain about how things are, worry that we’re not doing enough, and get caught up in trying to do everything perfectly.
But what if you started with who you want to be?
Who are you? How do you want to show up in the world? What does that version of you actually do?
Starting there can take a lot of the pressure off.
Think Alignment, Not Balance
We hear a lot about trying to find balance, especially work-life balance. But balance is a juggling act. You’re never going to give everything equal attention all the time. Something will always need more from you than something else.
When balance is the goal, it’s very easy to focus on what you’re not getting to. That can create a whole lot of anxiety about everything that feels out of whack.
I prefer to think about alignment.
Instead of asking whether everything in my life is perfectly balanced, I can ask: What can I do to bring myself into alignment so I can show up more like myself?
You’re always yourself, of course. But are you practicing being the version of yourself you want to be?
Alignment starts with who and how you want to be. It puts your attention on what you want rather than everything that’s missing, and I’ve found that shift makes things so much easier.
As a recovering perfectionist, this framework also makes it much easier for me to pull myself out of that perfectionist thinking and stay motivated.
What Does Life Alignment Actually Look Like?
When you’re more aligned with who you want to be, you’re looking ahead at what could be, what you have control over, and what you can accomplish instead of spinning around everything that hasn’t been done.
There’s an important distinction here between wishing for something and actually wanting it.
Wishing doesn’t get it done.
Wanting, at least the way I think about it, is desire with some action behind it. If I desire something, I have to ask how I need to be in order to move toward that thing, that way of life, or even that amount of money.
Being and wanting go together.
Use What You Want as Motivation
I don’t think our deeper desires are completely separate from our values. You can crave something or think something sounds nice, but the things you really want have a way of pulling you forward and motivating you to do the work required to get there.
Think about becoming a comedian. You don’t become a comedian by wishing you were funny. You have to write jokes. You have to get up and perform. You have to do the reps that allow you to become a comedian.
The same thing happens in other areas of life.
If you want to be a writer, are you showing up as someone who writes? If you want to be prepared and on time, are you practicing the behaviors of someone who is prepared and on time?
That’s where alignment starts to become practical.
How Are You Showing Up?
Being is about who and how you show up.
Are you showing up prepared and on time, or are you showing up as the person who is always running late and frazzled?
Are you showing up as someone who writes every day so that you are a writer, or are you perpetually wishing you could write?
You have to do the things that allow you to be the person you want to be.
And when you start being that person, you’re also doing more of the things that move you toward what you desire.
It’s all connected.
Your Actions Need to Align With What You Want
Of course, we can make this very practical.
Let’s say I want a diamond ring. What has to happen for me to have one?
Maybe I need to make the money to buy it. Maybe I already have the money and simply need to make the call, place the order, or go to the store.
Or I could plan a robbery.
I don’t recommend that option. It involves a lot of planning and busy work with a very high level of risk.
But that silly example illustrates the point. What do you desire, and what actions are actually in alignment with who you are and who you want to be?
Maybe I decide to make the money doing something I enjoy and eventually buy the ring as a reward. Now the result is connected to behaviors that are aligned with the person I want to be.
Be More You
Getting organized isn’t only about your stuff or finding the perfect system.
Sometimes it starts much earlier than that.
Who do you want to be? How does that person show up? What does she do consistently? What does she make time for? What does she stop doing?
Instead of focusing so much on what’s missing, what you haven’t accomplished, or where your life feels out of balance, try looking forward.
Show up how you want to be.
Practice being who you want to be.
Then see what becomes possible from there.
